Mis. Under. Stood.

I get it. You are one not to be adored. Or loved, for that matter, my Lord. However, your darkness¬†intrigues me. Most would disagree, but I think your bald head is artsy. You sport Hollywood nails like it’s your job. If this works out, you’ll need to get a nose job. Can you breathe without…

Let’s Vacation in Hell

It was George Clooney that introduced me to you. He gave credit where it was definitely due. Michael, you can win anyone over with your million dollar smile. The thought of you being with anyone else seems very vile. It wasn’t your celebrity status that triggered my infatuation. Not even your gorgeous accent or length…

A Diva is Female Version of a Hustler

Hayyyyyyyy Ms Cartaaaaa! Hell yeah, I would claim you as a martyr. It’s far from an obsession with you, Queen Bee. I’m more in awe with your tenacity. I still remember when you were the guest VJ for the MTV awards. Or when Destiny’s Child started out as four. Somehow you went from the lead…

You Had Me From The Beginning

Ryan, I truly believe you are my one true love. Your acting skills are what I am the most proud of. I really think we can be something great. I know you are doing big things, so all I can do is wait. I’m not going to lie and say you won me over in…

The Amanda Show!

Where to start with you, Miss Bynes? I am sorry I misread the signs. Let me just start by saying Twitter is not your friend. Piercings on your face and wearing wigs are not a trend. What happened to you, Amanda? Is this some stunt or propaganda? I used to watch you on Figure It…

Poem for You, Miss LiLo

LiLo, It was in Parent Trap that I first saw you. I was already obsessed with Mary-Kate and Ashley, but you were something new. I was surprised to find out that you weren’t a twin. Even though I am freaked out by freckles, I accepted it on your skin. Mean Girls is what I look…