Oh, Christian

**Spoiler Alert! Don’t read this if you plan to read or are reading 50 Shades of Grey, Darker or Freed.

Only if we lived during the time of the Salem Witch Trials… Every women who dared to buy50 Shades of Grey would be labeled a witch, and sentenced to their doom…

I will give everyone a piece of advice; if women actually acted like how the book portray women, divorce rates would drastically reduce…haha

-Words from the infamous Fred

I rather be called a wench… I feel that would be in Mr. Christian Grey’s vocabulary. It all started with a book club and ended up as an obsession. Recently, my girlfriends and I decided to start a book club and picked 50 Shades of Grey to be our first book to read. Yes, we gave in to the spectacle of the book. And I think it was probably the worst/best decision of my life.

I knew the book was filled with sexual innuendos and kinky experiences. I’ve never read a novelty book before so I had no idea what I was expecting. All I know that women of all ages were enticed by this book (which grosses me out–I don’t want to know that my friends’ mothers are reading it). And I’m not much of a follower but I needed to know what all the havoc caused by this book was about. Of course, knowing my girlfriends, they wouldn’t mind reading a book such as this so we can discuss the book and/or the different tips the book provided.

Let me start by saying the book is poorly written with repeating words such as “flush”, “my inner goddess”, “my sex”, etc. A point of advice to the author: if you are going to write a book about kinky sex with sex toys and bondage and dom/sub material, then it’s very appropriate for you to use words like vagina, penis and all the raunchy words to describe the sex. Kind words are not used while having the sex Mr. Grey likes, no need for the nice version of these words. It’s a very easy read (or maybe because I was lost in the story).

Fred is one of those guys who has a one track mind. Okay, the premise of the book is about the gorgeous, millionaire entrepreneur, Christian Grey, who has a kinky fetish and likes to have girls of his liking as his submissive. As a dominant, he is able to have sex with her whenever and however he wants, mostly in “the red room of pain”. In the room, he has different sex toys which he uses on the girl. There is a certain way the girl has to be while in the room: just in panties and her hair braided. Some sick part of me in intrigued only because I know how Mr. Grey is. Throughout the books, he was predominately in control of every move whiling have sex… Still intrigued.

Now to the naked ear (no pun intended), the book is portrayed as a revelation to women that men in the role as a dominant is actually satisfying. Fred, obviously thinks that without any regard to reading the book. Yes, the basis of the book is about Mr. Grey’s sick (yet, hot) obsession with being a dominate and have women as his submissives. Mr. Grey becomes fascinated with this one newly graduated girl, Anastasia Steele, and wants her to be his sub. She, being inexperienced, was amused by the contract that he provided regarding to all things he can do to her. Long story short, she doesn’t end up signing the contract because he ended up having feelings for her. However, that doesn’t mean Ana wasn’t willing to try some of the submissive behaviors that were written in the contract.

The books consist of so much more. I mean the sex kept coming, every which way, but it started getting repetitive. Like yeah handcuffs here and there and some spanking and restraining the girl, but it just became expected in the books. There was a particular part that I actually face-palmed and cringed for Anastasia. When Christian brought her back to his apartment, she actually asked him if he was going to make love to her. Who in their right mind asks that? In response, hot toddie Christian explains no because he only f**ks, hard. He put her in her place. That’s for sure. The books started getting lame when they throw in some sexual harassment schemes, kidnapping, helicopter crash, fatal car accident, having an amazing career straight out of college due to the man’s expensive taste, you get the picture, but that didn’t stop me from continuing reading. Now that I think about it, why am I utterly head-over-heels for this character when such unrealistic events happened in their relationship?

In one of my past blogs, I mentioned that I don’t like to read fiction. Truth be told, I was trying to get 50 Shades of Grey out-of-the-way because I wanted to start the autobiography of Marilyn Monroe and her mental state. I didn’t think I was going to read the whole trilogy, but I ended up reading the whole thing in less than week. Sick? I think so. I don’t see myself reading fiction because fiction books make a mockery of my mind. I find myself in a fantasy world that doesn’t exist. I avoid fiction, but in a book club, no one wants to read about true stories. Now that I finished the books, I am lost. I don’t know what to do. Christian Grey no longer exists, only in my mind. I am in love with his character. He is dominating and a control freak (both in and out of the bedroom) but for some reason I am helplessly attracted to him. A character in a book! Searching for a man like Mr. Grey is going to be a hard and a very long task, and in my crazy mind, I actually think that there is a guy like him out there for me. I never thought I’d be attracted to a guy of his demeanor, but hey I’m full of surprises!

The thing about fiction is you can make him look like however you want, and in my head he is too hot to handle. They are planning to make the trilogy into a movie. I don’t know how because in order to capture the essence of the book, it will have to be a full-blown porno which you would have to watch by yourself. This will be the first book I have read that is going to turn into a movie. Let’s see what my reaction is.

My vision of Mr. Grey but with longer hair and no gel. (Yes, I googled “Christian Grey”… helpless…):

The books are compared to Twilight which I completely get. The same theme for both trilogies, love conquers all whether you are a blood-sucking vampire or a kinky sex freak sadist. And I am a fool for falling for it because now I am a quest to find my Christian Grey and start experimenting. đŸ˜‰

On aside:: In lieu of Christian Grey, I give you The Roots and this lyrically brilliant song, Break You Off. I love this song and the lyrics. Check it out.

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