My Fake License

It’s no secret that I am obsessed with Johnny Depp.  I don’t think it is an obsession anymore, more like a hardcore infatuation.  Well recently, Delilah brought up an item that I cherished.  When I was younger, it was no secret that I loved Johnny Depp.  My closet doors were covered with cutouts of him from magazines. I would own every and any magazine that he was featured on.  I owned all of his movies (and they weren’t bootlegged either).  I guess, in retrospect, I thought it would bring me closer to him.  Maybe my problem is that my heart is set on JD and no one else and that’s why I am so picky. GOL.

Nonetheless, it was very apparent that I loved him ever-so-much.  A family friend of mine, at the time she was probably 8, went to California.  I want to say I was 16 or 17.  She came back and gave me a souvenir.  Honestly, I was just thrilled she thought of me while in California.  While in Hollywood, she got me a Johnny Depp license.  It was one of those licenses you get at the souvenir shop.  I was in love with it.

As pathetic as it sounds, that license experienced some funny occurrences that doesn’t happen to normal people.  Like seriously, when you get a souvenir, it’s usually gone the following week.  Not this license.  I cherished this license, along with all my other Johnny Depp stuff I collected.  This license graduated high school with me, went shopping with me, went to parties with me, graduated college with me.  It’s been years, and I still have it.  However, I don’t carry it in my wallet anymore because I had too many embarassing moments with it.

Years ago, when I still was in high school, I went to the Wawa which was right next to the school.  My friends and I went after school to go buy cigarettes.  Yes, I can honestly say that I started smoking because it was the “cool” thing to do, but 8/9 years later and it’s still not cool.  Regardless, my friend drove so I suppose I left my wallet somewhere else.  I guess every Wawa has their dose of WT (WT: white trash).  Our local Wawa cashier was older and had a raspy voice as if she’s been smoking Newports for years.  I think the last thing she wanted to do is be a cashier at a snazzy town with yuppies, and trust me, I am not an easy customer.  So I needed my fix, but I didn’t have my license.  She knew who I was.  Unfortunately, I was a regular there.  She just wanted to give me a hard time. So she was adamant that she will not be selling me anything without an ID.  After searching my purse, I found Johnny’s license.  I told her that this was all I had.  I handed it to her, and she was in hysterics, calling over co-workers to take a look.  Once she realized how desperate I was and that I would carry a Johnny Depp license, she finally gave in and sold me my pack.

Then there was the time at the bank while in college.  I suppose I was in a rush, to probably make the 1/2 price sushi menu with my version of Paris Hilton–Maggie.  We were at the drive-thru of the bank and I suppose I wasn’t paying attention.  I was depositing my pay check and I was showing Maggie my cool Johnny Depp license.  While we were talking, the drive-thru teller had to get our attention and then through the window, she held up the Johnny Depp license.  I mistakenly gave Johnny’s ID rather than my real ID.  Not only was I in hysterics, but I was embarrassed because there were more than one teller.  We were wondering why it took them so long to send over the receipts.  They probably were showing everyone my great ID.

On aside:: I really do love Johnny Depp for more than his looks, but for his great talents.  He is a muscian, a fabulous actor and hot toddie. Here’s a video that captures all that and more…


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