It’s known that I am strange. I have reiterated that and owned it. No shame. Recently, I went to Hoboken with my girls. I love going to places where I know I won’t see anyone that I know. However, I forgot that it’s a very small world and Hoboken is a pretty happening place. When I get tired, my alter ego comes out to play. Questionably frightening? Not so much.

My Alter Ego

After years of watching movies with British folks, I fell in love with the accent. Like said before, I love men with British accents (Silver Fox). I must say, I have a great British accent. When I went to London a few years for ago, I had a British accent and no one questioned it.  Just recently, while on the train travelling into the city, a group of young English students told me that I had a great British accent. For just one second, I felt like I was a part of Harry Potter and was on my way to Hogwarts. (A girl can dream).

On this particular Saturday, I was extremely tired but I had to go out because I am an infamous bailer. I had to prove to my friends and, more importantly, myself that I can still kick it. Being tired and drinking is not a good combination. I definitely am not thinking straight (not that I do in general). I decided for that evening that I was going to be Sabrina from Rochester, England.

When sober, I become her, get tired and then fade her out to my American accent. People are quite confused and I get lip from my friends, but I need to really feel like her in order to follow through. So here I am, with Jenny and Camille. They knew in advance that I was pulling this stunt. They can appreciate good acting skills. Obviously, while waiting to get in, we run into Fred. Like said before, Fred is one of the girls. He is like the brother we never wanted. GOL!  I kid!  He just tortures us girls. Regardless, he calls me out and tells me to get rid of my fake accent. Typical Fred move. Speaking before thinking. The best is when we all went to Atlantic City together and Geri (his gf) asks him how much he gambled away. He says $20 or $40 and then Geri found a bunch of ATM receipts that each read $40 each. Fred is the ultimate clown.

That was the first thing that made it seem like I wasn’t really from England. Then we meet up with Geri and a few of her girlfriends. Geri and her friends didn’t blow my cover. PHEW!  Geri tells me that there are a bunch of kids from my high school who were there that night. I was nervous that they would rat me out. So like any sane person would do, I started looking for them. Why would I do that with my fake accent? Maybe I felt like pulling a Madonna and have a fake accent. I couldn’t find them and so in my wicked mind, I thought it was a good idea to inbox them on Facebook because I didn’t have their number. Ughiesss! I am embarrassing.  I cringed the next day.

It was a great night. Dancing the night away. Being British. It couldn’t be long until someone called me out on not being English.  It was about 2:20am and I didn’t want to hold my jacket anymore.  I decided to ask the coat check to hold my jacket for the rest of the night so I can get down on the dancefloor.  Jenny was with me.  For some reason Jenny started to speak in a “British” accent.

A while ago, she told me that she wanted to be an actress.  One day, while roaming around in the city, I asked Jenny to speak to me in a British accent in public to get some real-life acting practice.  We were on the subway with people everywhere and we were speaking in a British accent.  Jenny wasn’t the best.  Hell, she wasn’t remotely good. (I give her 2 seconds after reading this sentence until she attacks me).  But practice makes you perfect.  So I let her go ahead with her strange British accent.  I told her that it was okay that her accent was slightly different than mine because there are different dialects in the UK.  I completely made that up.  I tried to be her motivator.  The reason I am putting Jenny on blast is because she was the reason that I was called out that night.

While putting away my jacket, the coat check girl had to get confirmation from some guy to put away my jacket at no cost.  When she got the okay, I thanked him (in my British accent).  Of course, Jenny had to say something as well in her British accent.  The guy tells Jenny that he knows her accent is a fake.  DOH!  Her excuse:  She starts speaking in an accent when she is with me, her “exchange student” friend.  He flat out called her out.  Then he looks at me and says, “I’m not sure if her accent is real either.” Double DOH!  It was 2:30am and the bar closes in a half hour.  I could have easily gotten away with it if Ms. Jenny didn’t proceed with her accent.  The bouncer/jacket guy then starts questioning me.  He asked me what part of Rochester did I live at.  I said South side.  I completely made that up.  Then he asked what high school did I go to.  I told him it’s been too long.  I didn’t remember.  He wasn’t buying it.  Oh, the guy just-so-happened to be from Ireland and has been to Rochester.

Long story short, I need to brush up on my background the next time my alter ego comes out.  And also tell Jenny what’s really up because in the long run, I might get blasted!

On aside:: I am so over Drake.  Well I guess the radio did that to me.  Seriously, not only do we not have MTV to provide us with music video, now the radio that plays the same fours songs over and over again with no variety.

  1. Take Care- Drake and Rihanna
  2. Motto-Drake and Lil Wayne
  3. She Will-Drake and Lil Wayne
  4. Crew Love- Drake feat. The Weeknd

Here’s a song that will become over played in two weeks by the radio, but I definitely am feeling it.  (Jenny definitely pretends to be in the music video in her dorm room).  Enjoy!!!


One Comment Add yours

  1. Mindy says:

    Clowns. I die every time

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