An Ode to Drake

Drake and I have some relationship. I knew him before he was the famous “Drake.” He caught my eye when he was Jimmy, the guy in the wheelchair from Degrassi. He’s been through some crazy things.

I was there with him when he was shot in the back. I was there for his physical therapy where he popped a semi for his therapist. (I wasn’t pleased, but I was thrilled it still worked.) I was there when his best friend had testicular cancer, and he didn’t know how to deal. I was there when his EX-girlfriend was trying to scam him out of his rap gigs. I WAS THERE…

It’s only appropriate for me to be there for him now. Drake came out of no where. He snatched people’s attention with his smooth rhymes and his biracial look.

“Young Money, Cash Money Billionaires,” says Jay D. Jay D is one of a kind. He was one of my assistants. Jay D has moved on to my life assistant. We plan how we are going to be rolling in dough in a few years after we open our boutique. Jay D is NOT gay. Trust me, he has shared some information I rather not hear. His first question to me was, “Do you know what Plan B is?” GOL.

Jay D and I developed this great friendship. I can rely on him to pick me up from the bars after a night of drinking in exchange of three Big Macs from McDonalds (his favorite restuarant). He found comfort in me to do his Pre-Calc homework. Jay D has potential to be a rapper, but he rather be a doctor. (He decided to go Pre-Med about two weeks ago. He has been so stressed that he has salt and pepper hair now.)  More importantly, we talk about Drizzy Drake. We discuss how we feel that Drake is a lost and sad soul. His lyrics tell me so.

Observations were made by Jay D and myself.

Marvin’s Room

Let’s be serious. We have all been into Marvin’s Room. You know, when drunken words are your sober thoughts.

Drake’s songs are all love songs; the love of the game, money, women, etc. – Jay D

Apparently, his one love from Canada doesn’t compare to all these women that he hooks up with. Drake’s heart is hurt. The bridges in Drake’s songs express how he really feels.

Cinderella bout to lose the glass off her foot
and when I find it is when I find you
and we can do the things we never got the time to
better late than never
but never late is better
they tell me time is money, well we’ll spend it together
I’m down for whatever
you just lead the way- “Fancy” bridge

Drizzy is still waiting for that one he lost. He clearly is a romantic.

Reasons why I think Drake is depressed:

  • Drake lost all of his Toronto friends and family. In the song, “Resistance”, he claims that they think he’s changed.

What am I afraid of? This is suppose to be what dreams are made of.
But people I don’t have the time to hang with, always look at me and say the same shit..(they say)
You promised me you would never change. – “Resistance”

  • Drake’s life is unfulfilling. He didn’t expect it to be like this. He traded things he loved for things he wanted, which led to his depression. The lack of real love, only having these crazy fans give it all up for a free meal is getting old for him.


  1. Come find me. I’m just sayin’, I could do better. I will be able to be your best friend and girlfriend, and I am not in it for the money. I always had a thing for Jewish guys and have always been intrigued what a BBC looks like in real life.
  2. I will make sure your drink is neither purple or pink, because the side effects are too risky (Lil’ Wayne). I rather you drink something with no cough syrup in the mix. It’s clearly driving you to think crazy thoughts and leading to your depression.
  3. Do not marry Nicki Minaj. She isn’t that great and her many faces are not attractive, more like scary. I give her props for her verse in “Monster”, but I can definitely do a better British accent than she can.

That’s that…  I will leave you with this song by Drizzy…


One Comment Add yours

  1. LOL that picture is funny.

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