No More Vodka Sauce with My Spaghetti

It was a while since I was on a cruise ship. I don’t know what the event planners were thinking to have the work party at sea with an open bar. Don’t worry. I was well-behaved. That’s because I couldn’t handle the motion of the ocean. I would guzzle down drinks to find myself with an empty glass in my hand. It was quite an obstacle to get to the bar. As a result, I would order two drinks when I got to the bar, or have someone get me a drink. The last time I was on a yacht, I had to get drunk in order to zone out the movement.

You would think with all the drinks I had, I would be on the floor, but on the contrary. The drinks were dull, and they weren’t giving out shots.  (Which was a good thing because I couldn’t handle anymore embarrassments.) However, Jenny figured out how to make things work. The bartender wasn’t allowed to give out shots, but they were allowed to supply us with liquor on the rocks. Once we figured that out, we took full advantage of that. A few of us stayed at our table and pounded down shots when we heard that there was only one more hour left of the party. It didn’t hit me till the bus ride back.

During the holiday party, I was nervous/ecstatic to be there. Ecstatic to spend time with my friends and nervous because I was going to be on a boat with my Silver Fox. I haven’t seen him since the embarrassing encounter at the work BBQ. Just my luck, I was in clear view and we exchanged a few words. He and his wife were telling me how they were going to buy me a book that they found called the “Silver Fox.” Oy!

All in all, the holiday party was a success. Jenny, Marshall and I made sure we kept it together because we were the worst at the work BBQ. Marshall was probably the worst at the BBQ. Let’s just say after being cut off at the bar, he was planking in the middle of the bus. He also was barf-zilling the next morning at work. (Barf-zilla: one who throws up after  heavily drinking and unable to keep balance, bumping into walls. Possibility of becoming destructive.) I can say that Marshall kept his word; Jenny, on the other hand, not so much.

Last year, there were incriminating pictures of Jenny that surfaced in our company from the holiday party. Well, it also fell on my lap, which is bad for everyone. Jenny was also the one who was found in the bushes at the end of the work BBQ. This year, Jenny’s real party took place on the bus ride back. Holiday parties and pictures of Jenny work hand in hand. A great, yet embarrassing picture emerged from the bus ride. I didn’t really grasp the perfection of the picture until the next morning. I look at that picture on a daily basis to get in a few giggles.

I wasn’t the most innocent child after the cruise. I wouldn’t know because I blacked out. I have a tendency to do that. Most of the time, I am functional. But like most, I have my moments. We went back to a college bar after the cruise. I was in and out at the first bar we went to. The second one, I have no idea what went down. I do recall Jenny playing darts. I don’t know why anyone would let her play with sharp objects. She would aim for the board and the dart would land on the floor of the bar. But then, she aimed and hit a bull’s-eye, so we thought. We started screaming and dancing around out of excitement, until our friends showed us that it was far from the center. That just tells you how twisted we were.

I guess at the second bar we were dancing; well, tried to dance. At that point, Jenny and I were so beyond gone that we were spaghetti dancing. (Spaghetti Dancing: when your body is just swaying  and your arms and legs feel like jelly. Body movements imitating a piece of spaghetti. It’s worse if you are linguine dancing; a dangerous dance.) I think we spaghetti dance because we never want to stop dancing. I’ve said this before, but when my girlfriends and I go out, we are always on the dance floor. We go hard or we go to the bar.

It is safe to say that we were good girls and boys at the work party. Not that it would really matter for me, I dont work there anymore, but I’ve heard too much lip about the expectations for the holiday party, especially from me.

Love of HOVA: Below is a new song featuring Jay-Z. I really think he wrote his part thinking of me. He knows how to get to my heart.


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