It’s that time of year again. Halloween. I honestly love Halloween. It is a holiday that makes no sense but everyone has fun with it, from all ages.

For many of us young folks, it is a time to get skankified, and I am not a hater. During college, if you were going to dress up as a M&M, somehow you were going to skankify it. Halloween is a great reason to hike up your dress, wear fish nets, and thigh high boots and not be judged. I mean I definitely don’t judge girls who can go out as “Victoria Secret Angels.” If they can pull it off, then by all means, flaunt it.

I hate girls that hate on girls for being too scandalous. I give them props. Do it up girl. Show what your mama gave you. I check hot girls out all the time and I have no shame in telling them so. I just hope they know I am not trying to get in their panty-loones (noun; panties, underwear). I am probably wondering what conditioner they use to get those luscious locks.

Halloween is a great time to flirt, dance and get your freak on. The freaks come out on Halloween because it is a great excuse to do so. Not hatin’. All I have to say is that “Hata’s are gonna hate.” That’s my new motto. You can dress up as a modest cowgirl or a skanified one, regardless it’s all about if you are DTF.

FYI: If a girl is a hot firefighter, that does not mean she is DTF. She is just letting her inner freak out. Hopefully, you are lucky enough to meet that freak in the sheets, but definitely not guaranteed.

I have made a vow that for every Halloween I am going to be a villain, a scandy one obviously. (Scandy: scandalous) I felt that it was only appropriate because apparently I am the closest thing to the devil.

A Story from High School

My high school was something else. I lived in a bubble. Let it be known that I wasn’t the most innocent girl. I did a fair share of bad things. Things I am not proud of but it made me be the person that I am. I mean it was high school; petty fights, conniving plans to ruin people’s lives, partying in the city with a fake ID, etc. Anything you can think of, I probably dabbled in. My teachers either hated my guts or loved me unconditionally.

It was senior year and I had the worst senioritis. I cut class all the time to go wander in the hallways. (Cool bro…) It was senior breakfast day and they made an announcement you had to go to your first period class before coming to the breakfast. I wasn’t that concerned. I just walked around and went to the breakfast. Of course, the teachers sent me back to my first period class. It was art class of course. My art teacher was an older, cool guy. I loved going to class because he was mad chill. I would be late every day. I guess Mr. Weigand was in a bad mood that day. When I walked in late, he looked at me and said that I am this narcissistic person who doesn’t care for anyone but myself. (That was partly true). He went on a rant. So I was like whatever, I’m trying to peace and go hang with my friends. I walked out and the wind made it seem that I slammed the door. He started chasing me down the hallway saying, “You should cut the horns off your head.” If I were a Jew, I would be offended, but I wasn’t. I was just running away from him, laughing. GOL.

The End.

This year, after watching “X-Men: First Class”, I really had my heart set on being Magneto. For those who do not know who Magneto is, he is the villain who can do crazy things with metal and such. (I clearly don’t know the back story, what I do know is that he is the coolest). He is a male character but I would skankify it to a woman’s version. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find others to join the X-Men theme. I wanted to be able to go to  party and act out my character as the X-Men tried to attack me; full battle scene. No go. 😦

I thought maybe I should be Cruella Deville. She is faboosh. (faboosh: adj, something or someone that is beyond fabulous). Then I realized that I have to get into character, but my British accent is a bit rough these days. I haven’t been going to random bars and pretending to be from the UK where I say I lived in Manchester. That needs to come back.

I have decided I am going to be Scar. He is such an underrated villain. He is so deviant, yet so beautiful, somewhat like me ;). It’s going to be pure perfection.

So ladies and gents, if you want to be a skanky character, do it up! Have fun this Halloween. Love this day because you can always just blame it on the holiday! Happy Halloween!!!

Don’t do anything _______, but if you do, lube up! (Fill in the blank).