I have never been in love. I don’t know why. Not that I am complaining. Maybe I am waiting to give my all to that one great love. Till then, why not be single and have fun?
I have seen many in love, and that could be a reason why I am in no rush. I’ve seen too many tears and heart breaks that in the end, is it worth it? Of course, I am not ruling out falling in love, but maybe the terms of being in love should be reevaluated. This was discussed during a sleepover with my sister, Anderson and my friend, Gabriella on Wednesday.
My life is filled with very amazing girl friends, and those are hard to find. They are all intelligent, loving and humble women, and I am proud to call them my friends. Now this group took years of making. I have dropped many and gained plenty. I can say that ALL of my friends, one way or another have been hurt by the one they “loved.” Witnessing such puts a damper on my thoughts on love and what it’s suppose to mean. I am not cynical, as my friend Alaina and her boyfriend think, rather I am realistic. I know I say things that people don’t want to hear because the truth hurts.
After discussing love and temptation with Anderson and Gabriella, a strange idea came about. Like many, we all want that one great love, but can that love stop temptation? For many of my friends, they were hurt because they were cheated on or had trust issues. That being said, men are very much cheated on as well. Why is it that relationships can no longer last? You will find many that say, “Well my grandparents have been married for 50 years and they are still together.” Honey, you do not know their relationship. All relationships have problems and are faced with temptations. (Unless they are asexual.)
When you truly love someone, you love them with all you have. There is no doubt in that, but there comes a time where the sex is not as fun anymore. It becomes a routine. The relationship becomes a routine. People can deny this all they want, but sex is a huge part of one’s relationship. If the sex isn’t good, the relationship starts getting shaky. That’s when temptation comes to play. First people start looking, then start flirting, then “hanging out”, and then who knows. This is not to say that everyone is a cheater, but everyone is definitely tempted and desire for something they are lacking or cannot have.
Gabriella: She is one of a kind. On Facebook, we were married for quite sometime. I think Gabriella is my soul mate. If one of us were a man, we’d be married by now. There’s a lot to say about Gabriella. She is brilliant, overly humble, and one who loves to love. Sometimes I think her love for others suppresses the love she should have for herself. Gabriella is very self-less, which is a great attribute, but it confuses her. The thought of hurting another drives her guilt which leads to her sadness.
Anderson: My sister is a very interesting person. She falls in love. Her heart has been broken too many times. Anderson always is looking for love. She is a very charismatic, loving, crazy gal, but she gives her heart up to easily. She falls for the companionship and the intimacy. I mean who wouldn’t? Anderson is one in a million, but she has a hard time finding the right man to believe that.
After a rough year with family issues, her mindset on love and marriage has significantly altered. Finding out that my father has been cheating on my mother for 27 years definitely did not help her with trusting men. In my head, I don’t think it has effected me, rather it just proves my point. Everyone deals with temptation, but it is your choice to act on it.
Proposal made by Anderson
We wonder why couples can’t last; boredom, temptation, lack of love, “starfish” sex etc. Why not commit for X amount and decide at the end if you would want to renew it, like a lease? In a lease, you can put a down payment or you can pay more each month. The down payment is the friendship. You can invest a friendship towards a relationship and day by day build the relationship. Or you can jump into it, not knowing much about one another and hope for the best. (That’s a bigger risk only because you don’t know how the engine will run or drive.)
The lease proposal eliminates the chance of cheating because you can just wait until the lease is up to start test driving other cars. When the lease is up and find yourself still committed to one another, renew it, but when you see that it’s not working, on to the next ride. Yes, it’s easier said than done, but it definitely makes sense. Divorces occur for a reason. What if your marriage was contracted for 10 years, and then if you still are into it, renew the lease. You can even buy it if you believe it can run forever. If not, you can try something else.
The love for someone will always be there, but the temptation for another will happen. The lease proposal can work because you can try another ride if the first doesn’t work out. If you don’t want another the lease, you can always rent a car (AKA fool around). Usually, renting becomes too expensive and you end up going back to leasing.
Both Anderson and Gabriella agree that sometimes you need variety. That’s for sure! They both want love and had love, but needed more and wanted something better. One got hurt because the guy liked rentals and couldn’t commit to a lease. The other is hurting because she thought she wanted to rent but ended up with a very costly lease because she invested a small down payment.
As for me, I am free-spirited and love everyone for who they are. I am in no rush. I am just ridin’ dirty.