He Has a Big Vagina

It’s known that I am into strange and different things.  In the ideal world, I would love to run my own empire of companies all focused on creativity.  My goal is to have a clothing boutique by 28, an event company by 34 and interior designing company by 40; all umbrella’d under one name: “Sabrina Diana, Inc.”  By the time I am 50, I want to own my own art studio and gallery.  I have a sixth sense in knowing what will work and such because I can visually picture it in my head.  I have so many hobbies and interest because I can build off of each to make something spectacular which is the only true goal I have in life.  Yes, I would consider myself an artist.  I am into creating different pieces and having a story told through each.  That doesn’t just go for your typical art pieces.  I think the same way when it comes to fashion, hair, people’s demeanor and mannerisms, etc.  To tell you the truth, I look and analyze everything as an art form.  Everything and everyone is a complex art piece that has different layers and different variations to set one apart from another.  In particular, I look at people’s hands.

I am attracted to hands.  Strange?  Yes and no.  I have known many who look at a person’s hands and find it to be dull or beautiful, but I obviously take it to a different level.  A lot can be said about a person’s hands.  For some reason, when I meet someone for the first time, I always shake their hand; as if I am making a business transaction. I will even do it at a bar, drunk.  The worst is when someone gives me a dead fish handshake.  That is when the handshake has no grip or no sternness to it. It actually feels like you are holding a dead fish in your hand.  A firmly gripped handshake is what I am looking for.  It shows confidence and accuracy.  

For girls, I like to notice their nails obviously.  Colors speak the truth.  I find myself always wearing light colors, like light whites or such, but when I feel wild, I like to wear blues and reds.  I am a person who needs to have my nails prim and proper.  I mean let’s be serious, I have had my moments when I was too hung over to do my nails, but for the most part they are all good.  For girls who don’t wear any nail polish, I can live with that.  Ellen DeGeneres does it, and I love her.  It just works for some people.  It just explains they are okay with the basics and there is nothing wrong with that.  Me? I would never be caught dead without polish because I am always trying to go to the extreme.  Alaina actually has really pretty hands.  When we were in middle school, Geri picked up Alaina by telling her that she had really pretty hands, and they have been best friends ever since.  Romantic!

However, I really want to focus my attention on men’s hands.  As daftly as it sounds, I relate men’s hands to their personality.  When meeting a guy, the third thing I do is look at their hands.  (First is their face, second is some where down south of that.) As shallow as that sounds, that’s really the order.  Of course their personality is important, but I can tell if I am going to get along with a guy just by looking at their hands.  However girly I may be, I do a lot of work by hand.  Yes, I am a wimp and can’t really lift that much, but I can put a desk together or such.  (I know. I sound like such a girl.  GOL!)  So my hands are a little rough, but they still look like girl hands.

In high school, I was in a Sociology class with older classmen, and there was this gorgeous boy in my class.  He was tall, had gorgeous eyes and a great smile.  We were assigned in the same group for an assignment and that is when I noticed the horror!  As he was writing down notes, I looked at his hands.  Oy!  They were girly. His hands looked like a girl’s.  He had long fingers, long finger beds and his hands were thin.  Not only did he have girly hands, he had girly handwriting.  Probably better than mine being that I write like chicken scratch.  (Don’t get me started with guys with girly handwriting).  I was immediately turned off.  His hands were nicer than mine.  A guy with hands that girly means one thing: he has a big vagina.

For the ladies that have a needy boyfriend, take a look at their hands.  Nine of ten probably have very girly hands, or not as masculine as they should be.  Men are supposed to have thick fingers with coarse palms, not dainty, soft hands.  A real man who is confident should have hands that are marked up; rough hands.  I am not opposed to men getting manicures for hygienic reasonings, but if it looks and feels like your girl friend’s hands, then your boy has some major emotional issues.  Men who have “soft hands” probably have never lifted anything heavier than 25 lbs or need attention at all times.  They are probably emotionally annoying and cannot do anything on their own.  I say, “The softer the hands, the bigger his vagina is”.  Did you know that in males, the ring finger is typically longer than the index finger and the larger that ratio, the more butch they are?

Other than having girly hands, men with long nails gross me out.  That’s just plain lazy and dirty.  Oh, and sweaty palms give me the heebie jeebies.

On aside::  The other day, I was told I listen to very obscure music.  That may be true, but I am always looking for that catchy pattern to get hooked on or something out of the ordinary.  Here is a song that I like to listen to when I am thinking and coming up with irrational theories such as this one.   

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